I had an unfortunate incident yesterday involving chocolate cake and ice cream. We had leftovers in our fridge at work from a staff birthday party, and I couldn't stop day dreaming about it. I finally just dished myself up a generous portion. I was so self-conscious about eating it at my desk (when no one else was), I was really sneaky about it and felt guilty from the very first mouthful.
So I ate it fast.
Then I felt sick.
Then I hated myself.
I didn't enjoy it. It felt like a wad of tar and remorse in my gut.
Lesson learned: when I feel the need to "sneak" food, something isn't right. If I can't enjoy it, don't bother. Had to give myself the "you screwed up, but you can do better" pep talk for the rest of the day. Bleh.
Last night while watching TV with Hubbins I said, "being on a diet and seeing restaurant commercials is like watching porn." Have you noticed this? When I see food prepared in slow-motion and served as the camera zooms in for a close-up, I start drooling. It's tantalizing and off-limits; the images are airbrushed and totally unattainable (I've ordered some of those exact meals, and they look nothing like the commercial). Next time you see an ad involving food, pay close attention.
I attended all eight sessions of boot camp in the month of June, and haven't missed one yet in July. I love it. And by "love" I mean I'm grateful when every 60-minute session is done. It's kicking my butt, but giving me more energy.
Hubbins and I ran again over the weekend, our favorite 2.6 mile loop. It's full of hills which actually makes it more bearable...the "I think I can, I think I can" huffing and puffing is rewarded with glorious gravity on the downhill side. We ran 12 minute miles!