Friday, May 28, 2010

Time to kill before work

8:45 am
Blood is BOILING. I just got cut off in line at my favorite coffee shop and I’m ready to tear someone’s head off. Someone in particular. He came in on his cell phone, didn’t even look to see there were still two people waiting to be helped. A mother with a newborn in a car-seat-carrier and I were both standing alongside the pastry case waiting for our turn to order, but he bypassed us and went right to the little space left at the counter.

When he ended his phone call, he pulled a bagel off the plate it was displayed on, shoved it toward the barista, and ordered his coffee (something ridiculous that involved pineapple flavoring). He forked over a twenty out of his wallet. The baby in front of me started crying. Mom tried swinging the car seat to rock Baby back to sleep, but she was a tiny little thing and barely had leverage enough to get the baby carrier off the ground, much less swing it soothingly.

Rudeness Personified leaned over toward Mom with a real sleazy, confiding look on his face and said, “You know, its amazing what a little beer will do!” He was obviously proud of his joke, and assuming all eyes were on him, shrugged and said too loudly, “It worked for me!”

The barista laughed and the Mom laughed but I wanted to gouge out his eyes. He sauntered to the other end of the coffee bar to wait for his drink. He never realized he had cut us both off. I tried to make it apparent with laser beams from my eyes and smoke from my ears but he was oblivious.

The gal making his coffee tried to make conversation and asked, “So, do you have any plans for the weekend?” “Get drunk” he said with a smirk.

He took his order and left, still glowing from his witty remarks, but clueless he had made an ass of himself.

He is a slime ball. My hackles are all up and I can’t shake this feeling of rage. I don’t usually react like this, but I am pissed. The only thing that allows me to cut him any slack is the possibility that he’s a used car salesman and doesn’t see people as people, just means to an end. Or maybe he’s related to the owner of the coffee shop and thinks he deserves preferential treatment. After this minor injustice, my morning has a bad flavor and I’m all bent out of shape. I know it’s not worth my energy, but what the heck?! I feel like a raging feminist right now. Wish I could crank up some Alanis Morissette. What  if I had the guts to call people out on that crap and not care if I sound like a bitch?

Don’t know what’s up with me. Maybe I need to readdress my birth control. I am a little scared of how aggressive I feel the few days I spend without it and miss my hormones terribly.


  1. People like that deserve a good smack. I have learned that I am too old to waste anymore time being nice to people that don't deserve it - and I'm too fat for anyone to be ticked that I tell em what's up. They're scared I'll sit on them. :) No, he's not worth your breath. Although I absolutely would have cut him off with a "yeah - that beer when when you were a baby must've killed your brain cells off - you obviously don't know what a line is!"

  2. You could take lessons from Drew... he's real good about saying what's on his mind and not worrying about what other people think. But, there's always the worry that they might get a little violent. But you could probably take him.

  3. There have been quite a few times where I've had to cough and say "Excuse me, EXCUSE ME! The line is over here." I can get away with it because I'm 10 feet tall, but still. Especially where there are other people being cut, they'll get your back.

  4. I have so pointed out where the line is to people before! I dont think they expect it because I am only like 5 feet tall :)