Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Feeling blue. Want to take a walk to jump start my day (clear head, get heart pumping) but it's still dark and will be for another hour. Woke up really sad yesterday, and haven't been able to shake it. Wish I could spend more time with Mom, who's alone most days with no where to go. Miss the friends I'm out of touch with. Want a community to materialize around me without all the work and time it takes to establish what I'm imagining. It's selfish, I know, but it's at the low points I feel the most lonely.

I'm up early to fit all the things I want to do into my day. It's not a long list, but I feel that I waste the hours before and after work (it's so easy to sleep until the last minute before leaving the house for the day, or crash in front of the TV and pass out on the couch in the evening). Then I wonder where the day went.

Good morning, world. What do you have in store for me today?


  1. did your day get better, love?

    i know how you feel about community. there was a time in my life where my community was solid and comfortable, and while i am building a new community now it is a slow process and i often long for the ease of my old friends.

    i'm sorry you're feeling blue and hope today is a better day for you.

  2. Wow, you just wrote down what I've been feeling lately. I feel like that mostly when it's cloudy/rainy/icky and when I haven't been good about exercising. I hope you find solutions for your slump, or just someone to muddle though it with.