Google the phrase "unfortunately,_______________" and fill the blank with your name. Put the whole thing in quotation marks. Hilarity will ensue.
Here are a few results from my search:
"Unfortunately, Emily turned out an old maid because of her father."
"Unfortunately, Emily has neglected to inform Joe that she is now married to Deputy Marshal Wade McPhail."
"Unfortunately Emily seems to have participated in such a disturbing crime and the video and pictures have been leaked."
"Unfortunately, Emily is still feeling a little different as she is the only half-human/half-mermaid hybrid she knows."
Just what I needed during Friday's lunch break. What funnies do you find? Post your favorites in a comment.